Banish the Book Club Hosting Blues

January 4, 2010

Book clubs are one of the more popular and ubiquitous hobby clubs.  Book club meetings are generally held at venues such as libraries, restaurants and people’s homes.

Every club has their own favorite way of doing things, but many people feel that having the meeting in someone’s home is the most comfortable.  My own book club rotates the location to a different member’s home every month, which gives everyone a chance to be the host.

However, not everyone likes being the host.  For some of us, the idea of it may even keep us from being a part of the book club altogether.

If this sounds like you, please keep reading.  Being the host is not as scary as it sounds.  Here are some ways to keep you from shaking in your house-slippers when the dreaded day draws near…

1.  Cleanup. Let’s say you’re not the neatest person in the world.  The solution to this is for you to just clean up the main room you’ll be sitting in, plus the kitchen and the bathroom.  The rest of the house can stay messy.  If you’re afraid someone will ask for a tour, you can politely refuse and tell them you didn’t have time to clean the rest of the house.

2.  Seating. Generally the living room will be the most comfortable.  If it’s nice out you can hold the meeting outside in a porch or on a patio — just make sure it’s shaded.  As long as there’s a comfortable place for everyone to sit and a few small tables to put food and drinks on, pretty much any place works.

3. Food. No need to spend all day in the kitchen.  Generally everyone is expected to bring something, so the host should be responsible for one main dish, and the beverages (see next bullet).  The Internet is full of recipes for easy and delicious dishes.  Hummus and pita with fresh vegetables is always a hit in my club! And it takes only minutes to prepare.

4.  Drinks. If your group prefers a beverage that you don’t normally drink there is no need to go overboard.  If the group drinks coffee for example, you don’t need to spend $30 on a pound of gourmet beans and a brand new grinder.  Just go to your local indie coffee shop and buy only as much as you need, and have them grind it for you.  Be creative, ask around.  (On the other hand, don’t skimp either.)

That’s it!  A clean, comfortable place for the group to sit, some nice healthy snacks, and something to drink.  The rest of the club meeting will pretty much take care of itself.

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A New Year’s Toast To Yourself

December 28, 2009

Grouvia’s Topic of the Week is called “New Year’s Toasts: A Five-Step Formula for the Perfect New Year’s Toast” by Joanna Fuchs.  We found it on a free article directory, as we do all our weekly topics.

It was written in 2005 (I hope she doesn’t mind that we changed the dates to post it) and contains a timeless bit of advice to help folks write a poignant, if not wholly memorable, New Year’s toast.  And it also contains a lesson for all of us, even if we aren’t giving a toast this year.

What the advice boils down to is simply this: Be Appreciative.

Here are the things Joanna points out that we should all remember to appreciate, as we move from the old year to the new:

  • Lessons learned
  • Fortunate or memorable events
  • Our friends and family
  • What we have that others don’t
  • A hopeful future

Hear hear, Joanna.  Thank you for reminding us.

We should appreciate these things all year long — especially right after a hectic holiday season, as we gear up to Spring and face all the possibilities for good times ahead.

So let’s try to pause for a few minutes and think about the past year, and wonder about the year ahead.  Let’s ask ourselves: What will we do this year to make a difference in someone else’s life?  To have a positive influence?  To lift someone’s spirits or help them get through a tough time?

How will I try to improve myself?  What next step can I take to get that promotion or start that small business I always wanted?  Will I try to lose weight or quit smoking?  Do I want to just get a little less aggravated at the too-long red light or supermarket check-out line?

Whatever it is, it’s unique to each of us … a special gift we can each give to ourself.

A toast to us… Happy New Year!


The Psychology of Groups

December 21, 2009

I recently rediscovered this interesting post about groups on a UK blog called “PsyBlog.” The article talks about various studies that provide unique insight into the psychology of group behavior.

I recommend you read the full post yourself, but here are some interesting points that might surprise you.

  1. Being a part of a group helps define a person’s identity.  Human nature drives us to be part of something useful and worthy and we place more value on a group we belong to than on one we don’t.  This is seen clearly in sports teams, but it’s true of every type of group.
  2. Group rules are usually followed very carefully by all members.  Once we have identified with our group, it is natural for us to conform to it’s rules.  Maybe we even fear being ostracized, or shunned.  Whatever the reason, studies show that it’s unusual for group rules, even unwritten or unspoken ones, to be broken.
  3. All group members have a role.  In some cases this is by formal arrangement, but many times it occurs naturally.  Beyond just having one person emerge as leader, others will also fall into certain patterns of behavior after a period of time.
  4. Being part of a group can help us improve as individuals.  For example, athletes who train in groups find that they improve their performance to a significantly higher level than when they train alone.  This is especially true if the athlete’s performance is not merely tied to the team’s overall performance, but has its own recognition and merit.
  5. People in groups are much more competitive than when alone.  Studies have shown that an individual will behave in a competitive manner almost 50% more often when the people present are in groups.  The study indicates this is because the individual believes that the other group(s) can’t be trusted, and not so much because of the “safety in numbers” factor.

One thing seems clear: groups are powerful and can change our behavior as individuals.  We may not even be aware of this when it happens, because it can happen so naturally.

The next time you are in a group situation, observe the people in the group and you’ll probably notice some of these behaviors at work.

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Lights, Camera, Action Groups!

December 14, 2009

Are you a member of an Action Group?  If so you are part of a long-standing grassroots movement in America.

Action Groups are one of the best ways to get involved in your community and your government.  Action Groups can make amazing things happen.  They are like the small businesses of the Non-Profit world.

There are several different kinds of action groups.  Here are a few:

  • Political Action Groups
  • Community Action Groups
  • Consumer Action Groups
  • Education Action Groups
  • Social Action Groups
  • Environmental Action Groups

Wikipedia says action groups are “a group of people joined temporarily to accomplish some task or take part in some organized collective action.”  They are generally formed because a couple of people were talking about an issue, and somebody said “We oughtta do someting about this!”

All it takes to start one of these groups is an idea and some passion.  Give it a good dose of leadership and coordination, and soon enough it turns into a cause.  Action groups have even been known to make such big changes happen that it evolved into a “social movement.”  The point… action groups can be amazing organizations, created by ordinary people.

In many cases the action group is only together long enough to accomplish a specific goal and then it disbands.  Some examples of these short term goals are…

  • Clean up a neighborhood.
  • Elect a candidate into office.
  • Raise money for a sick child’s medical bills.
  • Plan an eco-adventure trip for a large group.
  • Encourage a local politician to draft a new policy.
  • Establish a non-profit organization.

People who join these groups do so because they care deeply about the cause and desire change strongly enough to do something about it.  They do not get paid for their participation, but they do get the satisfaction of being part of a cause for change.  As humans, we find this far more rewarding than money.

One of the most well known Action Groups is Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD).  Candy Lightner founded MADD almost thirty years ago, when her daughter was killed by a drunk driver who was out on bail.  MADD is a huge success story in the non-profit sector, and has a long list of major accomplishments.

Some other well-known action groups are Students Against Destructive Decisions (SADD), National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA), and American Association of Retired People (AARP).

Not all action groups get as big as these.  In fact, most action groups are just small groups of local people who want to get something specific done.  For example an action group can be created to clean up your local park or even get a traffic light installed at a nearby dangerous intersection.  Pick up any local newspaper and you’re likely to find one or more examples of groups of people coming together to accomplish some goal.  In fact, check out the Grouvia twitter feed for almost daily examples of the numerous accomplishments of local groups across the country.

Becoming part of an Action Group couldn’t be simpler.  If you know of one that has a cause you care about, simply email the organizer and tell them you want to help.  If you’re really passionate about something and you can’t find a local group about it, start your own Action Group.  It only takes a few people to create a catalyst to make major changes in your environment.  You’ll be amazed at how much you can do, and so glad you took that first step.

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Size Does Matter

November 2, 2009

Being the host of an event can be a challenging task if you’re not a natural born organizer.  But it’s not impossible, and can even be fun.  Just don’t let the details overwhelm you.

One simple way to assure the success of your event is to keep the size of the group manageable.

In this post, I’m specifically referring to those events where you’re just out to have a good time and meet some people.  A walk in the woods, a trip to the movies, a bike ride to the beach for a picnic, taking the kids to the town pool, or a book club meeting.  Even small business events can fall into this category.

The optimal size of the group will fluctuate based in circumstances, but generally a good number to shoot for is between six and ten.

Four is OK. Twelve is OK. Eight is generally perfect.

Notice how these numbers are all even?  Even numbers are best because it makes it easy for people to naturally form pairs and have conversations.

Some reasons for keeping the group small:

  • As the host, you want to have a chance to speak with each person at least once during the time the group is together.
  • It is easier to make sure the group is intact with one glance, especially if you are in an unfamiliar place, and are moving around.  Most people can SEE six to eight people, whereas more than that requires an actual physical count.
  • A quick scan of the crowd will tell you if everyone seems to be comfortably enjoying themselves.
  • Most people feel more comfortable in smaller, more intimate group settings.

There are a few other factors to consider when planning an event for a specific number of people:

Invite more people than you want to attend. When planning a casual event, you will have no-shows and people who cancel at the last minute, so it is a good idea to plan for more people than you expect. If you want eight, plan for at least 14.  After you hold a few events with your group, you will get a feel for how many end up not coming.

If you have collected a payment in advance you will have a lot fewer (if any) no shows.  If the event is free, you will have a lot more.

If your event is outdoors, less than ideal weather will always keep some people away.  I had a hike once where 26 people said they were coming and only six showed up.  The no-shows mostly blamed the weather forecast, which was predicting some showers later that day.  (Incidentally, we didn’t get a drop of rain during the hike.)

Friends count differently than strangers. If your group is mostly comprised of people who know each other well, you can manage a larger group.  Since they know each other, they will mostly take care of themselves.

If your group will be mostly strangers, they will need some time with each other to get comfortable.  As far as they all know, the only thing they have in common is their interest in the activity for which they came to this event.  In this case smaller is better.  Give people a chance to spend time feeling each other out for other commonalities.

Professional events can support a larger group size. If your event is, say, a meet and greet for local businesses, your optimal number can be much higher than that of a personal or recreational-type of event.  Business people are naturally more outgoing in crowds, because they are there to talk about their business, not themselves.

A group size of 20-25 is manageable for this setting.  Once you have done these a few times and feel comfortable, you can try for 30 or more people if your venue can handle it.

Let your experience guide you. These are only guidelines.  If you are just starting out, start small and be conservative.  The first event for your group can be a nail-biter, but each one gets easier.

Don’t be afraid to cancel your event. If you’ve planned a trip to the beach and the weather forecast is calling for thunderstorms, trust me, nobody will show up.  Just cancel it.

You can also cancel it if you aren’t seeing a lot of interest.  If you’ve invited 16 people to a World of Warcraft party and only two say they’re coming, you might end up with a disappointing party.  Save yourself the aggravation, and try again another time with a different kind of event.  It might be that the folks in your group just don’t go for that topic.

If you’re interested in the slightly broader topic of how many friends a person can have at once, take a look at this interesting post by Seth Godin about Dunbar’s Number.

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Making New Members Feel *Really* Welcome

October 27, 2009

As the organizer of a small local club, eventually your group will get to the point where most people know each other. This will be the point at which new members might have a little trouble fitting in.  This can be a little daunting for some folks and might even keep your club from growing.

So how do you make new members feel a part of the group?  The most important thing you can do is to engage them.  If you do nothing else, you must do this.

Let’s say you have a Ladies’ Night Out club and one of your members has a new neighbor she wants to bring her to the next event.  “Great!” you say, the group could use some fresh faces.  At the next event, however, the old group does what they always do:  talk about their jobs, their kids, the new product they tried, the new blog they found.  People prefer things (and people) they’re familiar with, so most people will naturally talk to the familiar faces and ignore strangers.  They are not being rude, they are just being… well… people.

Your job, as the host, is to engage the new person.

Let’s say her name is Kim.  This may be obvious, but Kim needs to be introduced right at the start.  You might even ask her if she wants to tell the group a little about herself.  Make sure you ask her if she’s OK with this prior to the start of the get-together.  She might want to think of a few things to say in advance, or if she’s shy she might even decline.  It also helps to have the person who brought Kim introduce her.

Then during the course of the event, gauge Kim’s level of involvement.  If it seems low, there are a couple of tactics for helping her along.

  • At the first opportunity (if you can find a break in the chatter), turn to Kim and loudly say “Kim, what do you think of that? Have you tried XYZ product?” This may take a couple of tries, since Kim is likely to be a little overwhelmed and feeling a little shy.  This may be a little overly dramatic, but you get the drift.
  • If you can’t get her to boldly engage with the group, try starting a side-conversation.  As soon as Kim says something that you know might be a common thread with another member of the group, pull the other member in.  “Hey Lucy, Kim says her son Matt is thinking of going to UVA next year – didn’t your daughter look at that school?”  Or “Jill, did you hear that?  Kim loves to cook Indian food.  Kim, Jill went to India last year and loved it.”

What you are doing is simply finding connections for Kim within the group.  It is not hard to do, and Kim will appreciate your efforts, and if she feels comfortable enough may even spread the word about how great your group is.  And she will most likely attend the next night out.

The downside to not doing this is probably obvious. Kim will feel isolated and ignored, and wonder why she even came.  She may even pull away from the friend who brought her.  And she may even tell others about her experience.

So do yourself, and your group, a favor, and go the extra mile to help your new members feel welcome.

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Find Others Who Share Your Enthusiasm (Hobby Clubs Part 2)

October 19, 2009

Unless you live in a rural area, it is usually easy to find a hobby club near you. A good place to start is your community bulletin boards – you might be surprised that there are groups that share your interests in your own neighborhood.

Libraries and community centers also make public announcements and occasionally will even provide space for hobbyists to meet. Stop by and ask questions. The librarian or community center staffperson’s job is to help the public and they are happy to answer your questions.

If you live in or near a city, it is likely you will find a nearby group to join and can easily meet other like-minded individuals who practice their craft regularly.

Most hobbies require some kind of gear and/or supplies. Stop into retail shops that specialize in your hobby and talk to the people who work there. They can generally tell you of local clubs or perhaps have a bulletin board where clubs will post their information or upcoming meetings.

In many cases, your local community college or supply store will offer beginning to intermediate courses that interest you. You will meet others in these courses as well.

As an alternative, you might consider starting a hobby with your family. Crafting with children may help build their sensory motor skills, and even improve their self-esteem. Getting youngsters involved with hobbies helps to increase their imagination and makes use of their creative gifts.

Finally, you might consider looking for hobby clubs and groups online. This is becoming more popular as the Internet allows everyone to share their interest(s) with people all over the world. There are message forums when you can post anything related to your hobby, receive opinions and share tips from other members. The virtual world has made it easier than ever to find others who share your interests.

Enjoying your hobby or craft can give you a sense of accomplishment and connecting with others who share your interests can improve your enjoyment of your hobby.

Lisa

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Beat Stress By Doing Something You Love (Hobby Clubs Part 1)

October 12, 2009

Do you have a passion?

Think about it… what do you love to do in your spare time? Do you love to cook, or build model cars, decorate your house for holidays, create wooden toys, write short stories, make sketches of your kids or dog? Maybe you don’t even realize this is a hobby, it’s just something you like to do.

Anything that you are fascinated with is worth pursuing. You choose to do it because it satisfies you and fulfills you. Expressing yourself is a form of creativity and all of the things mentioned above are creative pursuits.

A hobby is not a waste of time and it is more than just a pastime. The benefits of engaging in a hobby are incalculable. It enhances your creativity through the practice of your craft, and is ultimately relaxing and helps reduce your stress.

The act of doing and creating stimulates the brain and promotes feelings of wellness and calmness. It keeps our minds and our hands active. For some, it could be an emotional outlet or a way of gaining additional skills.

Many of us come home from work stressed.  Turning to a hobby or our craft kit is a tremendous help in taking our minds off of the stresses of the work-day. Whether your hobby-craft is painting, pottery, clay molding, cooking or baking, car restoration, fixing old radios, or baseball cards, creating something awakens our sense of power and purpose.

Approach Your Hobby With Patience

Your hobby, whether it is a very simple one or a large long-term project, will get your creative juices flowing. Often you need to think of different approaches to the craft, try different things to improve the end result, which in turn results in improving your skills at your craft.

You should not rush in finishing each project, it’s always better to be patient with yourself as you work on each activity. It takes time to do it right, and hurrying usually results in frustration and lower quality.

In the end, once your creation is complete, you will show it off with pride, and with that comes a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment.

Hobby Clubs to Share Your Passion

Whatever your hobby is, there are others who love the same thing. In many cases, you can find these people right in your neighborhood or in your own town.

Joining a hobby club makes working on your hobby a lot more interesting. You can learn from other club members who have more experience or have tried different techniques that you haven’t tried. If you’ve been doing your craft for some time, you can share your experiences with those who are just starting out.

Finding a group that shares your passion is rewarding and it is a great way to be socially active.

If you’re still reading, I hope this means you are now thinking of joining a club to share your hobby with other enthusiasts. Next week we’ll talk about how to go about doing just that.

Here is a comprehensive, but by no means exhaustive, list of hobbies from stormthecastle.com.  The list is loosely (and is somewhat subject to interpretation) categorized, which can be very useful.

- Lisa

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Everyone You Know Belongs to This Group

September 28, 2009

Close your eyes for 10 seconds and try to think of all the different kinds of groups you belong to.

You should be able to think of somewhere between three and 10 different groups:  Church, school, work, friends, neighborhood, sports team, hobby club, health club, bowling league, and on and on.  Within each of these groups are numerous smaller subgroups, some of which you may also belong to.

Life is a big web of overlapping and interconnected circles of people who are joined by common interests or purpose.

Even though we might not consider it a group, there is one group everyone belongs to: Your family.

For most people this conjures up images of Mom, Dad, sister, brother, son, daughter, Grandma, Grandpa, and so on.  Some cultures are traditionally very close with a larger circle of extended family as well – aunt, uncle, cousin, niece, nephew and possibly beyond.

Many people don’t have what one might consider a traditional family (and the definition of family has extended considerably over the years), but there might be some group of people who “serve as” the family.  Perhaps a foster family or even an orphanage.

The family is the most common type of group and it has basically the same structure and rules of any other kind of group, whether those rules are spoken or unspoken.  There is usually a leader and second-in-command.  Each member has a role of sorts, and usually some set of responsibilities.

While a family doesn’t have the formal structure of an organized group, it does most things in group-like fashion, such as…

  • Communicates both individually and as a group
  • Attends events together… Sunday dinner at Grandma’s, Saturday at the beach, Little Eddie’s baseball game, church services, family weddings, a school play, etc.
  • Shares pictures of its members and occasions with friends and other family.

Every family is different it’s true. But so is every group, whether it’s a family unit or your church choir or the entire class of 1994 at Georgetown University.

All kinds of groups can use Grouvia.

Since all groups follow the same basic tenets, Grouvia was designed to support the basic format of any kind of group, including families.  Your family group on Grouvia can be public or private, or you can customize your group to be public in certain ways and private in others.  Your Grouvia group can contain just your immediate family or, even better, your extended family.

For more information about how Grouvia can help your family communicate, have fun together, and share your life with others, visit grouvia.com/families.

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Not Just Another Pretty Facebook

September 22, 2009

“It must be hard for Grouvia to compete against Facebook and MySpace.”

That was my husband’s dentist commenting on the short article published about Grouvia in last month’s Fredericksburg Free Lance-Star. My husband then had to explain how Grouvia is nothing like Facebook and offers very different features for a very different user base.

When I spoke with journalist, Bill Freehling, I explained:

“Grouvia is not a social networking site. Please don’t say that in the article because I don’t want people to think it’s another Facebook. It’s not that at all.”

But Bill put it in there anyway and I don’t blame him – comparing Grouvia to Facebook gives people a familiar point of reference. And it’s not the first time people have made that leap.

When I explain that Grouvia is more like Meetup.com with more group-specific features, I often get puzzled looks. It’s surprising that so many people are not familiar with Meetup.com. (BTW, this could be extremely positive for Grouvia!)

So, instead of explaining why Grouvia is NOT like Facebook, let me clarify what Grouvia is.

Grouvia is a free site where people can form and join community-based groups.  Let me elaborate (and sorry for the list of features):

  1. Grouvia allows users to form groups; create a home for their group’s web site and updated group information; schedule and promote events; market the group to get new members; send notifications to group members; and have all these tasks automated to make group organizers’ lives easier.
  2. Grouvia allows users to search for and join local groups that match their personal interests; view the activities of all their groups in one place; send messages to their groups and individual “groupmates;” get automatic notifications of group events and announcements via email and text messaging; manage their personal event calendar (and sync it with Google calendar); and, have the tools to make decisions about what events to attend or pass along to friends.

I’ve said this before but it bears repeating, Grouvia’s main goal is to get people away from their computer and out into the world living a real life. Facebook, on the other hand, has a gazillion games and silly time-wasting applications designed to keep people in front of their computers as long as possible.

Another reason why Grouvia is NOT like Facebook is Grouvia is primarily about groups (not individuals). It doesn’t have a “friend feed” or status update, nor personal connections to other individuals.

Grouvia’s key member feature is an aggregated, dynamic events calendar that allows members to see all their groups’ upcoming events together.  This includes complete flexibility to turn on or off certain groups or even certain types of events.

I’ve studied Facebook’s Events feature and have tried to create Facebook Events, inviting my friends and trying my damnedest to make it work. Honestly, the experience was lame.  Meetup does a much better job of managing events and Grouvia’s event features will be better than Meetup’s.

This is not a Facebook-bashing session, I just want to set the record straight and remind my readers that

  1. Not *every* site that attempts to connect people is a social networking site.
  2. Perhaps more importantly, not every social networking site is a Facebook or MySpace nor needs compete with them.

Facebook is the most popular social networking site right now and eventually, Grouvia will work on integrating select applications into that site. But just because Facebook is the hot site now, doesn’t mean it will be in a few years. The rise of social networks is littered with Friendster, Ryze, and dozens of others that seemed like a good idea at the time but fell out of favor with the press and worse their users.

Eventually, I believe, all the social networking sites will be forced to find a way to come together and synergize – or else they’ll get left behind. At the same time, I believe we will see an avalanche of niche-focused social networking sites – like Ning.com – working on a common platform.

I suppose it could be worse. There could be no point of reference and my explanations about Grouvia would be much longer and drawn out. At least with the comparisons to Facebook and MySpace, all I need to do is tell people how we’re different and how we’re solving a problem that they do not, nor will they likely ever address.

In the meantime, Grouvia will focus on being the most useful site for our core community.

Lisa

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Do you enjoy reading these posts? Why not sign-up to receive Grouvia’s e-newsletter? You’ll get the latest news delivered to your inbox and you can participate in the Grouvia development process. It’s free.  Sign up at http://grouvia.com.